It's about time I get caught up on my 30 day challenge and while Liam is napping and I am having my second lunch (I seriously feel like a hobbit with how often I am hungry while pregnant...do you like my nerdy Lord of the Rings reference?), I thought it would be a good time. Even though my kitchen needs to be deep cleaned (at least my pregnant, nesting self thinks so).
Day 4
A habit you wish you didn't have
One of my habits I have been thinking about a lot lately is actually a process I wish I could change. First off, I am very emotionally sensitive. If anyone is mad, annoyed at, judging me, manipulating me or feeling anything negative towards me, it eats at me so bad. I hate contention for this reason and I always have. I have to fix things as fast as I can or it is really hard for me to be around the person. But I am really good at giving people the benefit of the doubt, so if I know they aren't trying to be mean, annoyed etc. and it was an accident it doesn't bother me at all. But if they are trying to hurt me, be mean to me, judge me inappropriately etc. then comes the second part of the process I wish I could change. When this happens I go from hurt to angry really fast. If I realize they are trying to be mean and after trying to fix things they still act like that, I get angry to protect myself and then because I HATE feeling angry or anything like that (because I am so emotionally sensitive) I end up distancing myself from them. And I haven't had to do that very often--like maybe 2 times at most--so don't think I am scary/crazy. :) I don't mind being emotionally sensitive because that means there is hardly ever contention or negative feelings in our home which I love, but I wish I could change how I go so fast from hurt to anger when someone really does try to hurt me. It's just a defense strategy to protect myself. This explains why I have the pet peeves I do (which I talked about in day 1). I think I have this because my mom, husband and other people close to me have always been SO tender, sweet and understanding so it's really hard for me to understand why people feel, act or think that way (so negative). I just really can't understand.
Sorry...that may have been TMI and a little too personal! :)
Day 5
A picture of somewhere you've been
This is the best picture I could find and it doesn't give it justice AT ALL. We spent one of the days of our cruise for our honeymoon on a beach called Labadee in Haiti and it was HEAVEN. It was a perfect white sand, blue water tropical beach and I fell in love with it as soon as the cruise ship docked and we were getting ready to go to the beach. We went to Jamaica and the Grand Cayman Islands and this beach blew ALL of them out of the water. It is a beach owned by the cruise line so it doesn't feel like the 3rd world country that Haiti is and doesn't have all the huge hotels. It's just a pristine, perfect beach with a jungle bordering the beach. It feels like paradise and it is a place I HAVE to go back to before I die. I have pictures we took on our honeymoon but it was before we had a digital camera because they were really expensive still (wow we have been married a long time! haha) but one of these days I am going to put those pictures on CD!
Yay! Liam is still asleep so I might just be able to scrub my kitchen cabinets as well during nap time!
2 comments:
So interesting to read about your habit you wish you didn't have. I really can relate. Something that I have learned is that naturally, people don't want to hurt others. If they hurt others intentionally (whether physically, emotionally, whatever) its only because they are hurting themselves. When people are in pain, they think inflicting pain on others will lessen their pain. It doesn't. Don't ask me how I know, I mean I'd tell you but not on a blog comment. Something that will make you feel better about someone who hurts you intentionally: becoming their friend and finding out why they are in so much pain. Sometimes this isn't always possible but trust me, if someone hurt you intentionally, its them, not you.
Thanks for sharing. You really are amazing and I love reading your blog. I hope this post wasn't TMI.
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